The Big 7 rally was a departure from the norm for us in many ways. Firstly, we haven’t camped for over 10 years, and I knew I’d miss having an en-suite bathroom and comfy mattress. It was my first rally on the Lambretta, and Lee rode the GTS as it had more storage space than the impractical chop. The best change to our routine though was that we would be heading north-east, rather than our usual westerly direction, and we wouldn’t even touch the A27 which has probably never happened in my 35 years of attending rallies!
Knowing we’d need plenty of storage space we bought a plastic SLUK carrier to extend the surface area of my Lambretta’s sprint rack, and it worked a treat!
We set off in a small group on Friday morning, with just me, Lee and Champs going from my usual rally gang as the others were working. Unfortunately though we lost Champs quite early on when his Scomadi blew up, but he managed to get his scooter taken home in a van and was picked up by Dell to make it there in one piece.
I can’t remember such a pleasant ride to a rally. It was mostly on smaller A roads through Sussex and Kent with barely a dual carriageway in sight.
Lunch in Newick
We stopped in Newick, a small village in mid Sussex, for lunch at a pub which had loads of scooters parked outside.
It turned out to be Dean Percival and his gang who’d stopped for a drink, and for Dean to ring his insurance company.
Once he’d got it sorted they all set off, with two-stroke fumes streaming through the pub windows and a dozen noisy exhausts removing all sense of tranquility from this sleepy Sussex village. A few minutes later they’d disappeared and peace was restored, just in time for our delicious lunch to be served!
Arriving at the Hop Farm
We then got back on the road and it was only around 30 miles to the rally site at Paddock Wood, about 70 in total. I’d booked our tickets in advance, I’m not quite sure why as there was little chance of it selling out on the Friday afternoon. It was one of those few events where you pay MORE in advance compared to on the gate, so I will remember next time not to bother. But they crossed our names off the list and we received our wristbands. Even with the booking fee we’d only paid £22.25 each for a whole weekend of entertainment, including six bands, four rooms of music, a free dyno and camping. Compared with the £250 ticket price at Glastonbury it’s amazing value, and you couldn’t pay me to go there either as I can’t think of anything worse than being in a crowd of 100,000+ to see a band!
Once on the site, our first challenge was to find some people we knew! After riding aimlessly around the tents for a while we suddenly saw the Hoodlums waving manically at us, so parked up next to them and unpacked. My motto is to never interfere with a man and his tent, so I left Lee get on with it and just helped him when he needed someone to put a pole in a hole, something I could just about manage.
I sprung into action when he needed to get the air bed pumped up, happy to do a bit of exercise and work off some of the delicious Eton Mess I’d enjoyed at lunchtime. Champs had just called to announce his arrival and needed help to bring his stuff from the main gate, so Lee hopped on the scooter and did the honours.
We then went for a wander, checking out who else had arrived. The Definitely Maybe guys were all basking in the sun, sitting in a circle in comfy chairs with a mobile kitchen all set up and an obliging cook who was going to serve them all weekend with delicious food. They knew how to camp in style!
On the way back to our tent we bumped into Snowy and Gail who’d just arrived and were struggling to locate the Hoodlums too. We directed them over to where we’d camped and followed them back, happy to have more friends around for the inevitable rally banter.
Champs had cracked open his first Stella and was really impressed with the cup holder on my SLUK carrier, so much so that he wanted to buy it from me on the spot! I explained that he’d need a Scomadi version and Lee would order him one on our return… Click here to check them out, they’re brilliant for expanding the surface area on the back of the scooter to attach more luggage.
Ice Ice baby
By now it was time to get some refreshments so Lee and I rode the short distance into Paddock Wood where we found a handy Waitrose store. We picked up as much ice as we could fit in my backpack, plus some booze and a few sweet treats!
Back to the site and it was time to chill, chat and take the piss out of each other. The Hoodlums included Giles, Andy Bell (not the one from Erasure) and Jonny, as well as Snowy.
I wandered off occasionally to explore the site and take scooter photos.
These were two lovely street-style Lambrettas, one of which featured on the 2019 Big 7 rally patch.
These scooters were ridden by Dave Fox and his son Sam, who didn’t have far to come, living just five minutes up the road. The chop is called Tangerine Dream and is a VespBretta, and the Lambretta is called Number Of The Beast. Dave was knocked off it in 1997 and had it rebuilt with the Iron Maiden theme as it has a 666 number plate. It’s a trusty old steed and he’s owned it for 26 years now.
I loved the photos I took with the oast houses in the background. The Hop Farm has the largest collection of Victorian oast houses in the world and supplied hops to the big London breweries, using shire horses to transport them to the local train station.
I was really impressed with the site which is ideal for a rally. It has a barn conversion for the main venue, marquees for the bands, ska and disco rooms and plenty of food stalls. I’d been tempted by the glamping options but they seeemed very expensive and I was glad we hadn’t done it as our little tent was actually better in many ways.
I bumped into a few people as I wandered around, including Rappo and Rob!
This scooterist had a mobile disco Vespa which was blasting out some great tunes as he rode it around the campsite.
Friday entertainment
We missed the Corsairs unfortunately, who were on a bit earlier than we were ready to go out. We could hear them from the tents though, playing their psycho-punk covers in front of an appreciative crowd.
Secret Affair were next and went down a storm. Ian Page sounds great and his band, which included a horn section, were superb. The marquee was packed and went wild when they sang Time For Action.
After the band finished we went back outside to cool down a bit. Everyone was in high spirits, although Lee’s spirits were perhaps a bit too high. These are the last happy photos I have of him, as he was comatose less than an hour later…
I lost count of the number of people who asked where I got my t-shirt from. Well, I didn’t really lose count, but there were at least three!
For the record, I bought it after seeing Colonel Kilgore’s Vietnamese Formation Surf Team at the Margate rally in 1986. Very few bands impress me without me knowing a single record of theirs, but I was a fan from the first song. I bought the album, the t-shirt and then they disappeared, never to be seen again.
Gail and I tried out the school disco tent at around 10pm and didn’t leave until the final record at midnight! Dave Lloyd was ably assisted by Scooter Trumps Dave on the decks and they played some top tunes which I think it’s fair to say I’ve never danced to at a rally before. I only got one early photo before it got dark, and was crammed with sweaty scooter people!
From the Human League and Wham to the Communards, it was brilliant! There were a few Definitely Maybes on the dancefloor too, and when Neil Diamond’s Sweet Caroline came on just before the end the crowd went wild!
I think we went back to the tents after the disco, I can’t quite remember! All I know is that it got light very quickly, as Saturday dawned, and it was scorching by 8am. Lee had a hangover from hell, so spent the morning trying to find shady spots to sleep it off in. I pottered around doing the usual things – stalls, chats, photos.
I saw Majestic Realms arrive so popped over for some photos. The engraving and paintwork really shone in the sun.
The dyno was really popular with a queue of scooters waiting to get tested.
I took a photo of the results at the end of the day. There were a few scoots which achieved over 90mph which is incredible!
I rode to Waitrose to stock up some provisions and it was lovely and cool in there so I stayed and had some brunch in the cafe. I loaded up with ice, water and lollies which I handed out to some random sweaty people as quickly as possible when I got back to the site, before they melted. ScooterNova Ann seemed pleased to be handed the combination of ice, flavourings and E numbers in the shape of a Fab lolly…
Ride With A Smile
By lunchtime Lee was well enough to be upright but was desperate to get out of the heat so we went to the on-site pub, hoping it would have air conditioning. It didn’t. It was about half a degree cooler than the shade outside so we stayed for a bit, but the heat was still overpowering.
This guy was standing at the bar, and I loved his t-shirt! I asked if it was OK to take a photo and he was more than happy to, and when I explained how I’d been having treatment he gave me a patch and a sticker from Ride With A Smile SC who raise money for cancer charities. What a great name for a scooter club! It’s scary how many people in our scene are affected by this horrible disease but lovely how we all pull together to support each other.
Big 7 Custom Show
The custom show was due to start at 2pm, so beforehand I cheekily asked if I could go in and take some photos. The kind organiser agreed so here they are, and I also made a video which I posted on YouTube below. I think a couple more were added afterwards so apologies if I missed them! The music is a track by Colonel Kilgore, in case you’re curious about this ‘blink and you missed them’ band…
Winner of Best Lambretta was Midnight Oil.
Big 7 Custom Show Results
The Allan Tester Trophy, Big 7 Scooter Club
Vespa GS : 346 GKO
Best In Show, Mersea Island Scooter Rally
Lambretta : OJE 62J
Best Lambretta, Bats Scooter Club
Midnight Oil : OIL 4237
Best Vespa, Vespa Club Of Britain
Hammer Horror : JAS 133N
Best Auto, Bullseye Scooter Club
Lambretta LD : 806 YUP
Best Chopper, Oddballs Scooter Club
Illusion : FNP 39
Best Ridden Classic Scooter, Old Gits SC
Lambretta S2 : 755 LYR
Best Street Racer, Mysterons Scooter Club
Vespa : UKL 698
Best Mod Scooter, Dartford SC
Lambretta TV175 : VAS 334
Best Rat, Gravesend Sentinels SC
Vespa : CR 854-VN
The Big 7 Dyno Shootout, Southern Scooter Shakedown
90mph – Daz from Leicester, Donald Trump SC
Furthest Travelled By Scooter Male, ScooterNova Magazine
515 miles – “Jo Kerr (Joker)” ?!
Furthest Travelled By Scooter, Female, Kings Scooter Workshop
290 miles – Karen Soulsby
Best Ridden Turned Out Club, SLUK
17 members – South Coast Pirates
Saturday Afternoon
It seems such a shame to complain about the heat but for me it was like a neverending hot flush! I didn’t notice any hot flushes all day, because they were disguised by the sun’s heat and CONSTANT… Lee really struggles too (with the heat, not hot flushes) but with the hangover from hell to add into the mix he wasn’t having the best day, so in the end we escaped to Waitrose again as it was the only place I knew which would be cool. Thank you, Paddock Wood Waitrose!
We got some drinks and snacks and set up camp in the cafe, which handily had power sockets with USB ports so I charged up my watch and phone while I was there.
We bought more ice, some drinks and lollies and rode back to the site for more sweaty scooter fun!
Shady characters
Over the course of the day we tried a few ways to keep cool. Jonny bought an umbrella in a local shop but got bored of holding it after a while, so he and Snowy made a contraption to tether it to the ground! It meant Jonny could sit in the shade, and Snowy could sit in Jonny’s shadow!
Later on, after a couple of drinks, the boys made sunhats out of newspapers. All those years of watching Blue Peter had not gone to waste…
It was great to see more younger people here than I’ve seen on other rallies.
Posing in the sun
As the sun started to go down, the temperature dropped to slightly more bearable levels. One thing I must do next time is bring some picnic chairs or a blanket as the only comfy place to sit was on the scooters.
The Pompey lot were nearby so I went over for a chat with Pete Davies and his mates.
Snowy was keen for me to take a photo of his jacket which dates back to the 1980s and was inspired by the Stray Cats song Rumble In Brighton. He painted it himself, and then recently resurrected it with a new zip, making it shorter too, it’s so cool!
I really wanted a photo of me on the Lambretta with the distinctive hop farm in the background. We set up the scooter with the oast houses in the background but then as soon as we were in position I got some gatecrashers climbing on the back! It turned out to be a couple of Essex boys, identified as Paul Reynolds and his mate on Instagram by Mark ‘Milky’ Watkins.
Once the boys had been shooed away, Snowy got the shot I’d wanted!
I then did the honours while he posed for me!
We had gained another Hoodlum during the afternoon, in the shape of Thomas, son of Giles. Snowy was keen to pass on some words of wisdom so explained his old fashioned method of finding the way to a rally, which was basically writing the directions directly onto his headset with a Sharpie! They then pulled a Titanic pose when they noticed I had my phone out to take photos…
We finally made it out to socialise and bumped into DJ Dave Porter and his wife Sharon. I hadn’t seen them for ages so it was lovely to catch up, and one of the nice things about this rally was meeting a different bunch of people from the usual ones we go to.
And talking of DJs called Dave, here’s another one! Mr Lloyd was having a cheeky drink outside the school disco while it was quiet inside.
It wasn’t quite the same atmosphere as the previous night, maybe because most people were lacking the energy of a Friday night. The sun had zapped our va va voom, and there were maybe a few sore heads still. We spent some time in the main room at the Dray, dancing to the indie that was being played there. We caught the final half hour of the school disco and I got the most middle-aged injury ever. I put my hip out on the uneven dancefloor in the excitement of ELO’s Mr Blue Sky being played. It’s still sore now!
After midnight we headed back to the tents, amazingly managing to sleep for a few hours despite the music in the background and the hot temperatures.
Sunday morning
We were up at the crack of dawn, as you do when you’re camping. I’d heard the first scooters leaving around 4.30am, and there was a steady trickle through the early hours. After Lee had spent ages arranging the luggage with multiple bungees and straps on the GTS, I had a mild panic that I’d stored my Lambretta keys in the middle of the (loaded) bag, but after a quick search I found them in my backpack. Phew!
Andy (not from Erasure) Bell was the first to leave, running Jonny over as he left our area. You’ve got to love a bit of Hoodlum banter!
We left about 8am and our ride home was uneventful, but still lovely, avoiding the coast road again and taking the slower roads. We were still back by 10.15 though, and I was in the bath by 10.30!
It was a fantastic weekend and I’m pleased to have survived the camping experience, just about. Well done to Big 7 SC for organising this event in such a great location. Can’t wait for next year!
Read more!
My First Rally
Read more My First Rally stories using these links (in alphabetic order)
– Ali Richards
– Bill Mac
– Dave Lloyd
– Dean Percival
– Dizzy Holmes
– Iggy Grainger
– Jo Jackson
– Lee Parker
– Lee Richards
– Mike Oxley
– Niamh Pennington
– Nick Jolly
– Norrie Kerr
– Roger Williams
– Sandra Smith
– Sarah George
– Sean Robinson
– Stacey Gardner
– Steve Bone
– Sticky
– Stuart Owen
– Vince Wooloff
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Another great read Ali,missed it this year but going next year,see you soon
We missed you there. Hopefully see you soon x